Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
Vote:
What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
Brothel sprouts.
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.
When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
Vote:
Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?"
Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
Deviled eggs.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Vote:
What kind of cars do rabbits drive?
Hop rods.
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead.
Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion.
The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog.
The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head.
"There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead".
Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion.
The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat.
The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head.
"It's definitely dead sir", says the vet.
Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes.
"That will be L1000, please".
"A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man.
"Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".