What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.
Titanic crashed into Chuck Norris' cut out toe nail.
What hair style is a calf's favorite? The cowlick.
What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.
Yo momma so poor... That your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
Which rabbit is a famous comedian? Bob Hop.
Cessna pilot: "Tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel. Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide! Do you have the airfield in sight?" Cessna: "Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."
Which rabbit stole from the rich to give to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.