A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She said, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby." With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked... "Then why did you eat him?"
As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes. The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!" The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!
The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant? A: She sneezes.
getting ready to stone a prostitute that had been caught in the act. Jesus said, "Let the first stone be thrown by someone who has never sinned" Suddenly, a rock comes flying over the crowd. Jesus turned, looks and then comments. "Mother!!"
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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
Q: What did the basketball say to the player? A: Please don't shoot me.