A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull."
The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on.
"If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick."
The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?"
The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections?
A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!
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I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.
Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.
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There are 4 guys in a car, 1 from Iowa,1 from Wisconsin, 1 from Florida, and 1 from Illinois.
The guy from Florida says "I’m tired of seeing oranges everyday" so he throws some oranges out the window.
So then the guy from Iowa says "I’m tired of seeing Corn everyday" so he throws some corn out the window.
The guy from Wisconsin is very inspired so he opens the door and pushs the guy from Illinois out of the car!
What does the fox say?
Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested?
A: Charged With Battery.
Q: How do you get your wife to scream and groan when you're having sex?
A: Let her catch you doing it.
Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
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