There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when you are newlyweds, and you're still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime - but mostly the kitchen. The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have kids, so you can't do it anywhere except the bedroom. The third type of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you pass each other in the hall and say, "Screw you." But there's also a fourth kind called Courtroom Sex. This is when you are getting a divorce and you try to screw each other in public.
What does Pontiac stand for? Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
How do you stop an Iraqi tank? "Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"
Yo mama so ugly that slender man didn't even want follow her.
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
I just saw a mexjcan guy walking down the street with a tv and I thought " wow, that looks just like mine." But I knew mine was at home shining my shoes.
What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.
Q: What do you call a pool full of black kids? A: Cocoa puffs.