When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
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Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
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The climate requires Chuck's permission to change.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions".
He has no time for losers.
He will rock you.
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In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of scrabble using only numbers.
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