When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
The Universe is not expanding. It's running away from Chuck Norris.
Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.