When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
Vote:
Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?"
Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
Deviled eggs.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Vote:
What kind of cars do rabbits drive?
Hop rods.
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead.
Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion.
The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog.
The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head.
"There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead".
Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion.
The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat.
The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head.
"It's definitely dead sir", says the vet.
Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes.
"That will be L1000, please".
"A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man.
"Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
Vote:
Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
I think you’ll find that any of my lady companions will tell you I’m a ‘five times a night man’.
I really shouldn’t drink so much tea before I go to bed.
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull."
The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on.
"If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick."
The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?"
The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."