Best jokes ever

What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, sport
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him." "And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg. "Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly. "And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger. "I'll be Bach," said Arnie.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels. "Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere.I 'ave one last request fir ye to do." O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done." "Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity." O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Patient: "Doctor, I feel there are two of me." Doctor: "Very well, I shall see you, one at a time."
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put a cucumber in her panties and pulled out a pickle.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama is so poor, I went to her place for dinner the other day, and when I asked what we were having, she put her foot up on the table and said "corn !".
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
Patient: "Doctor, I can’t sleep." Doctor: "Lie at of edge of your bed and you will sleep off."
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead? A: Depth perception.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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