Why does Santa have such a big sac?
Because he only cums once a year
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Yo mama so dumb that when she looked in a mirror she yelled stop copying me.
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I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea.
They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
Yo mamma is so fat that she's a call of duty map!
Yo momma so skinny she looks like a mic stand.
Yo momma is so fat that she uses the Great Wall of China wall as a belt.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smellicopter.
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream.
They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?"
So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned.
"I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts."
And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
Yo Momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo Momma's so fat she uses an air balloon for parachute.