First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?"
Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
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Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.
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Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common?
A: They are both baked chickens.
Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
I have joy in my heart and a glass of wine in my hand.
Coincidence?
Why does Santa have such a big sac?
Because he only cums once a year
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Yo mama so dumb that when she looked in a mirror she yelled stop copying me.
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Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
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What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
Brothel sprouts.