Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He's the Easter Bungee.
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Yo momma so poor... The building society repossessed her cardboard box.
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."
Big Brother isn't watching you. Chuck Norris is watching you!
A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted. The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets. He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them. The husband looked confused again. He asked the clerk, “What the hell do I do with these damn things?” The clerk replied, “Well, you're supposed to scratch the box and see if you've won anything.” The wife looked disgusted. "Oh please," she muttered. "What?" asked the clerk. "Oh nothing," she answered, "it's just that, well, he's been scratching down there for years, and he ain't won a damn thing."
Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
Why are rabbits never gold? How would you tell them apart from goldfish?
How do snails get their shells all shiny? They use snail polish.
Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise!