Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?"
"Because theres to many cheetahs."
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating".
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him.
Johnny said, "My Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."
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What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?
A book has papers.
Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well?
A: Kill himself.
Boy: My magic watch says that you don't have any underwear on.
Girl: Well its wrong...
Boy: Guess my watch is 15 minutes fast
I got married to Miss Right.
I just didn’t realise her first name was ‘Always’.
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said.
"What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said.
"I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
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