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Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the p*rn channel in my room is disabled." "No," she said, "It's regular p*rn, you sick b*stard!"
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Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: what the hell was I thinking? ‘Eighty per cent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.’ Jackie Mason
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What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
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He came into my room late at night. He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left. It was terrible. It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!
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Q: Why did the Republican cross the road? A: There was a black guy on the first side.
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As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, “All right! All you dummies fall out.” As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of ‘em, huh sir?”
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What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
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Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
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A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
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Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
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