Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the p*rn channel in my room is disabled." "No," she said, "It's regular p*rn, you sick b*stard!"
Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: what the hell was I thinking? ‘Eighty per cent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.’ Jackie Mason
What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
He came into my room late at night. He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left. It was terrible. It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!
Q: Why did the Republican cross the road? A: There was a black guy on the first side.
As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, “All right! All you dummies fall out.” As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of ‘em, huh sir?”
What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.