Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?
Reptiles.
Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common?
A: They are both baked chickens.
Chuck Norris once wrestled an Alligator.
He walked away with a new set of luggage.
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Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
A: You wake up wet!
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Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.
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