Best jokes ever

A midget is riding a bus when a blonde steps on him. “Hey you, brunette, watch where you're going,” yells the midget. The blonde looks down and says, “I am not a brunette, I am a blonde.” The midget replies, “Not from where I'm standing.”
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates? A mobile sperm bank!
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Colorado Avalanche fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Avalanche fans too. Not really knowing what an Avalanche fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Avalanche fan," she retorts. "Then," asks her teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud Detroit Red Wings Fan," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the little girl why she is a Wings fan. "Well, my Dad and Mom are Wings fans, so I'm a Wings fan too," she responds. The teacher is now angry. "That’s no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" "Oh," says the little girl. "Well, then I'd be an Avalanche fan."
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dad, school, sport, stupid, teacher
Man walks into a bar and sits next to another customer. Bartender comes over and says to the new customer, "what can I get you?" Customer says "bourbon and coke." Bartender looks at first customer and says another "beer Jackass?" He says nods his head yes. 10 minutes later bartender comes back to check to see if customer wants another bourbon and coke and customer says "sure." Bartender looks at first customer and says "another beer Jackass?" And customer nods yes. Bourbon and coke customer says to beer customer, "Man you are the customer, don't le t that bartender talk to you like that." Beer customer says "it's ok he al, he al, He always calls me that!"
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, communication, customer service, vulgar
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dinosaur, stupid, travel
Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, graduation, science
Q: Why did the blonde take more than one pregnancy test? A: Because she slept with more than one guy.
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde
How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?"
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: elf, life
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: doctor, mechanic, medical, money
Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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