Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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If Chuck Norris gets a question wrong, it is right.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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