Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
There are no comets. Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
When everyone else can't, Chuck Norris CAN.
A body in motion will remain in motion until roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.
Death has a shadow... Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once shaved his beard. People now call it Bigfoot.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!