Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris can say never.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
Chuck Norris traveled around the world in 60 milliseconds.
Tungsten steel was discovered in Chuck Norris' DNA.
When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "Roundhouse kick."