Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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They say terror?
Look at Chuck.
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Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
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Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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Chuck Norris won more Olympic medals than the hole world...
Including himself.
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Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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