Best jokes ever

Nurse: "If youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half." Me: [visibly confused] Wife: "The grapes, not the baby."
Vote: has 82.02 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids, wife
Q: How can you spot the blind guy in a nudist colony? A: It's not hard.
Vote: has 82.01 % from 312 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
Vote: has 82.01 % from 355 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Vote: has 82.00 % from 231 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A state trooper pulls over a car for speeding and the female driver says "I guess you want to sell me some tickets to the Trooper's Ball?" The trooper responded, "Troopers don't have balls, ma'am." After he realized what he said, he simply walked back to his car and drove away.
Vote: has 82.00 % from 318 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop
Children brought up on a farm are often quite precocious. A nun gave a lecture on the facts of life to the combined classes one day. She thought the tiny tots would hardly know what her talk was all about so she left them in the classroom. After a while she noticed little five year old Johnnie whispering with a little four year old Jane and she asked Johnnie what was the meaning of their whispering. Johnnie stood up and asked, "Please sister, can a woman of four have a baby?" "Of course not," answered the sister, quite flustered. Johnnie turned to the little girl beside him and said, "Didn’t I tell you, you had nothing to worry about."
Vote: has 82.00 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Vote: has 81.96 % from 199 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
Vote: has 81.95 % from 311 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Vote: has 81.95 % from 1597 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, insulting, lawyer, stupid, Yo mama
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
Vote: has 81.95 % from 1149 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist