Best jokes ever

Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
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has 82.41 % from 357 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
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has 82.41 % from 500 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, men, time
Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!” Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?” Boy: “No.” Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.” Boy: “And do you know who I am?” Girl: “No,” Boy: “Thank goodness!”
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has 82.39 % from 561 votes. More jokes about: school
A man is talking to God. "God, how long is a million years?" God answers, "To me, it's about a minute." "God, how much is a million dollars?" "To me, it's a penny." "God, may I have a penny?" "Wait a minute."
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has 82.39 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: men
Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out.
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has 82.39 % from 2482 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, gay
Blonde Logic January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter! March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets! June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms! August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down. September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it? October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the phone! What a year!
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has 82.39 % from 249 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car. "We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?" she asks. Husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm." "But it stinks!" she exclaims. "So hold its nose!"
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has 82.38 % from 622 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
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has 82.38 % from 943 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a salad? A: The salad is dressed.
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has 82.37 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, food
The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: Management.
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has 82.37 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: management, mean, work
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