Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
What's gross?
Farting in the bathtub.
What's grosser than that?
Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Chuck Norris named his parents.
Q: What did the blonde say when she was offered a position at the UN?
A: Would that be a "missionary position?"
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?
A: This won't hurt a byte
What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat?
A harebrush.
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk.
When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris