Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A: A dino-snore!
Vote:
Marge was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs.
"Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?"
"Just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunk, he's not going to notice you."
Sure enough, Marge's husband crawled into bed, but as he pulled up the covers, he exposed six feet.
"Honey!" he yelled. "What the hell is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed!"
"Dear, you're so drunk, you can't count. If you don't believe me, count them again."
The husband got out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. By damn, you're right, dear."
Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
Vote:
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
Q:Where do you find giant snails?
A:On the ends of their fingers.
Q: What are the hottest days during summer?
A: Sun-days
Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer?
A: A hula hoop with a nail in it.
Q: How do you electrocute a blonde?
A: Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.
Vote:
Yo momma is so short she poses for trophies!
Yo mamma's so fat when she falls off a hill people call avalach.