It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes walking on the beach in heals she strikes oil.
Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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How do bulls drive their cars?
They steer them.