‘If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.’
Yo momma’s so fat, the weather people give names to her farts.
Yo momma’s so fat, when she auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones she got the part of the big rolling ball.
Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio? It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
Why don't blondes eat bananas? They can't find the zipper.
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
Your momma is so old, I slapped her in the back and her titties fell out.