Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes walking on the beach in heals she strikes oil.
Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
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What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
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Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer?
A: A hula hoop with a nail in it.
Q: How do you electrocute a blonde?
A: Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.
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Yo momma is so short she poses for trophies!