Best jokes ever

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents."
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A drunk on his way home from a bar one night realizes that he has dropped his keys. He gets down on his hands and knees and starts groping around beneath a lamppost. A policeman asks what he’s doing. "I lost my keys in the park,” says the drunk. "Then why are you looking for them under the lamppost?” asks the puzzled cop. "Because,” says the drunk, "that’s where the light is.”
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Yo momma is so fat, that the last time she farted, a director came up with the movie "Twister".
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
‘If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.’
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: cop
Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio? It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush. "Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman." "OK," says Ivan. After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
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