When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio? It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
Why don't blondes eat bananas? They can't find the zipper.
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
Your momma is so old, I slapped her in the back and her titties fell out.
Yo mama is so poor, rainbows in her neighborhood are black and white.
Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.