The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
Q: Whats the difference between a black person and an apple? A: The apple falls from the tree.
How can you tell if a novel is homosexual? The hero always gets his man in the end.
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.
The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way.
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.
Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot. Everyone can catch cold.