Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!
Yo' Mama is so skinny, her nipples touch.
Chuck Norris is a hunter.
But Chuck Norris does not hunt.
That implies the possibility of failure.
Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ?
A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer?
He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning.
After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him.
He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?"
His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don’t know, son."
The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?"
Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son."
Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son."
The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?"
"Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"
Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.