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There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
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Q: What did the blonde do when she couldn't afford a personalized license plate? A: She changed her name to JKM345.
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Yo mama so fat she was in a parallel universe.
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Q: What do bleached blondes and airplanes both have in common? A: They both have a black box.
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Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet? A:To stamp out fires. Q:Why do elephants have flat feet? A:To stamp out burning ducks
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If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
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Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
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Yo momma so old... She left her purse on Noah's Ark.
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The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
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I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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