Best jokes ever

Why is a man different from a PC? You only have to tell the PC once.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, men
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, men, women
These two hunters went moose hunting every year without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. (emphasis on fool) They got themselves a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure in the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. So, they set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, in their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before too long their call was answered by bull in the forest. They called again, the bull answered closer to them. They called again, The bull answered, and came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. As the bulls' pounding hoof beats got closer the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him"! After a moment, that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouts - "THE ZIPPER IS STUCK, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!" The front guy says, "Well, I'm gonna start nibbling grass, but you better start to "brace yourself!"
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sport
In the beginning, God created light because Chuck allowed him to.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus. He sits down at the bar and says to the bartender "give us two beers over here!" The bartender walks over and see's the octopus and he says, "Didn't you see the sign over there it says no pets allowed!" The man say's to the bartender, "oh but you don't understand this is a special octopus and he can play any musical instrument that you have." The bartender replied back, "well I'll tell you what, if he can play any instrument you can both drink for free all night!" The bartender walks up to the band playing and grabs a guitar. He puts it down on the bar. The octopus crawls up on the bar and feels around the guitar for a little while, then finally he picks it up and starts jamming. He's so good he sounded like Jimi Hendricks! The bartender was amazed and says, "alright lets try one more". This time he goes into the back room and brings out a dusty old set of bagpipes and promptly put them on the bar and says "lets see him play this!" The octopus starts crawling all over the bagpipes. He continues this for quite awhile. The bartender shouted out " See I knew he couldn't play all these instruments!" And the man replies, "Just give him a few more minutes... as soon as he figures out he can't have sex with it, he'll play it!"
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet? It lives on ice.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Doctor: "What seems to be your trouble?" Patient: "When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour." Doctor: "Try getting up one hour later."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, health, life
Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet. She is funny, s*xy and flirty. Now she tells me she is an undercover cop. How cool is that at her age!
Vote: has 59.17 % from 76 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt
Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float? A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.
Vote: has 59.15 % from 215 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, technology


<<<799800801802
More jokes →
Page 799 of 1380.