A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper.
The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late.
"Where were you? I was worried sick."
"It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
Yo mama so fat and stupid, she went to a grocery store and tried to gamble at Butterball.
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
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A brain walks into a bar and says, "Ill have a pint of beer please.
"The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I cant serve you."
"Why not?" askes the brain.
"Youre already out of your head."
What''s the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo?
At a straight rodeo everyone yells, "Ride that sucker"
Men are like......Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are
Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!
Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
For Chuck Norris...
In the game Monopoly every space is free parking.
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Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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