Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign Ambassador.
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.
My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."
There were three guys in Hell - Iranian, American, and a Chinese man. They asked Satan to let them call their family. The American called and talked for 10 minutes. He payed $1,000. The Chinaman called and talked for 15 minutes. He payed $2,000. The Iranian talked for an hour and only paid $10. The other men complained and Satan responded, "A call from Hell to Hell is local.
To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
Why is it called PMS? — Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
Q: What do you call a white person engulfed in flames? A: A firecracker.
Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A: We have to stick together.
The pregnancy report of Santu’s wife came. Doctor said, "Oh, nothing to get excited, it was just the gas problem." Santu looks up at the sky towards the God and says, "Lord, What have you given me, a penis or an Air Pump."
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!