Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once.
The Wild lost.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
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I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with.
I dyed my hair!
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper.
The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late.
"Where were you? I was worried sick."
"It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
Yo mama so fat and stupid, she went to a grocery store and tried to gamble at Butterball.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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Thundergun shot is a Chuck Norris sneeze.
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