Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
Yo mamas so ugly when Bob the builder saw her he said "Oh cannot fix that."
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Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is? A:Because they dribble all over the court.
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret? They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
There once was a girl named Suzy Brown Said no one could lay her down. Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of swinging meat. He took her in the long tall grass, Shoved his dick right up her ass. Then she blew one gnarly fart, Blew his ball two feet apart. Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of shredded meat.