Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die.
Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
Yo mama so stupid... she died of starvation in a grocery store.
Yo' mama so stupid, she told me to meet her on the corner of "walk" and "don't walk."
Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
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Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
Inside a Best Buy store.
Customer: "Can you help me? I'm looking for a shredder."
Coworker: "We have all types of shredders. What will you be shredding primarily?"
Customer: "Collard greens."
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Yo mama so fat when she fell on my iPod it became an iPad.
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I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with.
I dyed my hair!