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I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, heaven
I've got a new anorexic girlfriend. Its not going too well though. I'm just seeing less and less of her ...
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More jokes about: women
A man goes skydiving. After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip cord to open his parachute but nothing happens. He tries everything but can't get it open. Just then another man flies by him, going UP. The skydiver yells, "Hey, you know anything about parachutes? The man replies, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?
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When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
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Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
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More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear? A: "Thanks for the refill!"
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In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit. When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram. However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim. She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet. Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.
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More jokes about: gym, kids, memory, old people, time
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
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More jokes about: athlete, sex, women
Two man playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them. One man said: "I'll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up." When he returned he said: "I have a problem, one of the women is my wife and the other one is my mistress." The second man said: "I'll walk up to them and hurry them up." He came back and said: "We both have the same problem.”
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More jokes about: sport