Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once.
The Wild lost.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
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What''s the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo?
At a straight rodeo everyone yells, "Ride that sucker"
Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win.
Forever.
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I was hiking once with my girlfriend.
Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad.
We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me.
One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took.
I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid
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When you come to a road that says "ONE WAY", that mean Chuck Norris is the other way.
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