Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid
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When you come to a road that says "ONE WAY", that mean Chuck Norris is the other way.
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The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
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For Chuck Norris...
In the game Monopoly every space is free parking.
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Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
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The teacher had given the class an assignment.
He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family.
A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to
put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
A blonde's house was on fire.
She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please!
My house is burning! Hurry!"
The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"
The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"
Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
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