Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week?
A: Turn on the spell checker.
Vote:
So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down.
A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says,"You should get this beer" *Holds up bottle* "It allows you to do amazing things!"
At this the man stands up, jumps out the window and Flies around twice before coming back into the Building.
The blonde then orders the Same beer.
She drinks it. And then Jumps out the window.
And falls to her death.
The Owner of the Bar then turns to the man in the coat and says, "You know you're a real Prick when you're drunk, Superman."
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex?
A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband:
Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks...
Husband:
And what the dentist said?
Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"
Vote:
Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar?
They are both stuck up cunts.
Vote:
Q. How can you tell a head nurse?
A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
Vote:
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself....
Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.