Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
Q: why did the cow cross the road? A: So he could pass the milkyway.
April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
Husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Wife: Because I married the wrong man!
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician? A: He didn't count with this...
Kid threw the butter out the window, he wanted to see a butterfly.