When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
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How much white out does Chuck Norris use?
Don't be silly - Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
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What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic!
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears.
There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
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Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
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A brain walks into a bar and says, "Ill have a pint of beer please.
"The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I cant serve you."
"Why not?" askes the brain.
"Youre already out of your head."
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.