How much white out does Chuck Norris use?
Don't be silly - Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
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What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic!
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears.
There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
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Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
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Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
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A brain walks into a bar and says, "Ill have a pint of beer please.
"The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I cant serve you."
"Why not?" askes the brain.
"Youre already out of your head."
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
Yo Mama's so fat, she makes Johana Hill look superbad at gaining weight.
I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with.
I dyed my hair!