A brain walks into a bar and says, "Ill have a pint of beer please.
"The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I cant serve you."
"Why not?" askes the brain.
"Youre already out of your head."
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
Yo Mama's so fat, she makes Johana Hill look superbad at gaining weight.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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Thundergun shot is a Chuck Norris sneeze.
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When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
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How much white out does Chuck Norris use?
Don't be silly - Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
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