Best jokes ever

The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
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has 53.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar? They are both stuck up cunts.
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has 53.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q. How can you tell a head nurse? A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
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has 53.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
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has 53.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself.... Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
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has 53.93 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sex
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: "Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you." The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the cross walk. The voice shouted, "Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die." The man stood still; a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "Where the hell were you when I got married last week?"
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has 53.92 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: car, death, marriage
A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
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has 53.90 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, time
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?" A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp." The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
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has 53.89 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: customer service, dirty, management
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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has 53.88 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
Why do niggers stink? So blind people can hate them too.
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has 53.86 % from 288 votes. More jokes about: black people
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