Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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Q: why did the cow cross the road?
A: So he could pass the milkyway.
April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
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Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
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Husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Wife: Because I married the wrong man!
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.
Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
A: He didn't count with this...
Kid threw the butter out the window, he wanted to see a butterfly.