There was a young man from Peru
Who fell asleep in a canoe
He dreamt that Venus
was strokin' his penis
And woke with a handfull of goo
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Before sliced bread, people used to say "That's the greatest thing since Chuck Norris".
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Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
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What kind of a car does a proctologist drive?
A brown Probe!
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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A girl visited her boyfriend, which was still living with his mother, at his house.
His mother had Puritan principals.
The mother, as long as the girl was there, didn’t even try to hide her dislike feelings for his son’s choice.
"Mom, can I escort Helen?"
The girl, waiting to hear a cold hearted "no", she surprised hears: "Sure... You can! Escort her... to the corner with your eyes!"
Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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Why don't whales eat sushi very often?
Of course whales like sushi.
It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
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How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!