Q:What not to say to the nice policeman? A:I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? A: He was having a bad hare day!
Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
When you come to a road that says "ONE WAY", that mean Chuck Norris is the other way.
Leeroy is talking to his parents about his problems: "Mummy, whenever I try to play with the white boys and girls, they always call me a nigger - why is that? "Well," replies his mum, "that's because you are black." "And mummy, why do the teachers shout at me and tell me to go away, but they are nice to the white boys and girls?" "Well," replies his mum, "that's because you are black." Then Leroy grins and says "Well, whenever I'm in the shower with the white boys I notice that my penis is much bigger than their penises." "Well," replies his mum, "that's because you are 37."
When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.
Roses are blue My thumb's got a sliver I drank far too much and I'm killing my liver.
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..." In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"