While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did.
I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said;
"See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them."
I replied, "Yes."
"Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain." 
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There was a young man from Peru
Who fell asleep in a canoe
He dreamt that Venus
was strokin' his penis
And woke with a handfull of goo
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Before sliced bread, people used to say "That's the greatest thing since Chuck Norris".
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Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
Chuck Norris beat the light speed by 2 hours and 23 minutes.
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Chuck Norris's motorcycle has 4WD.
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No sense in playing Clue with Chuck Norris, we know it was Chuck Norris with a roundhouse kick in any room.
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Nietzsche's book was originally called Also Sparch Chuck Norris.
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The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
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Chuck Norris needs no further explanation.
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