A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.
Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.
The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.
"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.
"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.
"Oh great!
NOW you tell me." said the beginner.
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Vote:
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement:
"Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
If a lawyer and a tax official were both drowning and you could only save one of them, what would you do; go to lunch or read the paper?
I married my wife for her money.
And believe me, I’ve earned it.
Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
What do you call a computer that takes 15 minutes to start, freezes if you try to do more than one thing at a time, crashes regularly and causes you to swear under your breath throughout the day?
Cutting edge.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life.
Unless I buy something.’ Jackie Mason
Yo momma’s so ugly, if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away.