Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
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Chuck did enter the Dragon.
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The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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Q: What is so ironic about Atheists?
A: They're always talking about God.
Chuck Norris does not open doors.
Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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A couple has been married for many years, and one day the man tells his wife that he wishes she had bigger breasts.
"But how am I going to get bigger breasts?" she asks.
"That’s simple." he says, "Just rub your breasts with toilet paper every day."
"And that would do it?" the surprised wife wonders.
"Well," answers the husband, "it sure did work on your behind!"
What do you get when you mix a nigger and an octopus?
I don't know, but it picks the hell out of cotton
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Q: What do you call a white person engulfed in flames?
A: A firecracker.
Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out.
After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?"
"Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!"
"What do you brush with?" asked the dentist.
"Preparation H," said the redneck.
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.