For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit. We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly." "How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
Yo momma’s so ugly, her pillows cry at night.
Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind, it stinks.
Q: How do you recycle a condom? A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.
Your Moma is so fat the only words she knows is the universe.
There is woman at a mental hospital that are told to go out into the world and find out something new about it. After about 3 hours she go back to the hospital and tell the the manager what she has learned. The woman goes up to the manager and puts a large spider on the table and shouts, "BOO" and the spider scurries under the table. She then picks up the spider, pulls all of it's legs off and shouts, "BOO" but the spider can't move. The manager then looks strangely at the woman and asks her what she has learned about the world. The woman replies, "When I pull all the legs off a spider it can't hear me!"
Yo mama so fat when she went to bruger king the bruger was running as fast as they can.