If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
Vote:
How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!
Champions eat Wheaties for breakfast.
Chuck Norris eats Champions for breakfast.
Big Brother isn't watching you.
Chuck Norris is watching you!
Vote:
Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
Vote:
Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?"
Will: "I don't know."
Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"
Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job?
A: Bob.
Vote:
Chuck Norris does not open doors.
Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Vote:
Obama and his generals in the Pentagon discussed, and they could not agree on, what is the best time for the assault on Russia.
Finally, they decide to ask the French: "When is it best to invade Russia?"
The French answered: "We do not know, but certainly not in the winter, it would go wrong for sure."
Therefore, it would probably be better to ask the Germans: "When is it best to invade Russia?"
The Germans answer: "We do not know, but it certainly would not be in the summer. We have tried, already..."
What to do?
Someone proposes to ask China that is progressive and always comes up with a new idea.
So they asked the Chinese, "When is the best time to invade Russia?"
The Chinese replies: "Right now!"
Russia began to build "The Strength of Siberia" pipeline, "Turkish stream", The Spaceport "Vostochny", The Bridge to the Crimea, and in the near future they will modernize the BAM, they are building new sports complexes for the World Cup in football and athletics, they are planning oil extraction in the Arctic...
Right now they do need a lot of POW as work force.