Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"
Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? A: Invite an accountant.
Q: How many Anglicans or Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They always use candles.
Yo momma so fat that when she went to her prom she literally raised the roof.
Q: Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out? A: He was already taking out a tooth.
Q: Why don't fat people were turtlenecks? A: Because turtles are now endangered.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Yo mama so fat people used her as a tramp.
On the morning a cop walks into a bar and sees his wife with two of his best friends. He takes a sit on the table behind them to eavesdrop then his wife says "let's have him kidnaped." A poor guy heartbroken pulls out a gun and shoots them all and runs back to his house to grab some cash and clothe to escape. When he finally reached his house and opens the door everyone yells happy birthday!
Q: Why do blondes have more fun? A: They are easier to keep amused.