Best jokes ever

A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.  Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news".  "Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first." The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead."  The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crayfish and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share."  He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.  "Geez, thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so what's the other possible good news?" "Well", the Sarge says, "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!"
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, marriage, travel, wife
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, marriage
Question: What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Answer: Pregnant.
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: women
Why is sex like a game of bridge? You don’t need a partner if you’ve got a good hand.
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: sex
Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Why do Mexicans cross the border in pairs? Because it says "No Tres-Passing"
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: racist
Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They're going to call her Old Spice.
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, music, old people
Your moms like a christmass tree all the guys put there balls on her.
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has 53.12 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Yo mama
Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
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has 53.11 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: dirty, lesbian, sex, viagra
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
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has 53.11 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: asian, light bulb, mean, women
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