Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
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While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did.
I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said;
"See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them."
I replied, "Yes."
"Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."
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There was a young man from Peru
Who fell asleep in a canoe
He dreamt that Venus
was strokin' his penis
And woke with a handfull of goo
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Before sliced bread, people used to say "That's the greatest thing since Chuck Norris".
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Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
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Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies?
A: A rotisserie chicken.
Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
A: It's called Sosumi.
Why are we so sure that Eve was African?
If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple!
She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?"
If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!
Chuck Norris has an Xbox Live account. On Playstation
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Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
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