What kind of a car does a proctologist drive?
A brown Probe!
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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A girl visited her boyfriend, which was still living with his mother, at his house.
His mother had Puritan principals.
The mother, as long as the girl was there, didn’t even try to hide her dislike feelings for his son’s choice.
"Mom, can I escort Helen?"
The girl, waiting to hear a cold hearted "no", she surprised hears: "Sure... You can! Escort her... to the corner with your eyes!"
Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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Why don't whales eat sushi very often?
Of course whales like sushi.
It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
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How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!
Champions eat Wheaties for breakfast.
Chuck Norris eats Champions for breakfast.
Big Brother isn't watching you.
Chuck Norris is watching you!
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Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.