Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.
Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert? A: Chocolate mousse.
Chuck Noris once got his blood tested. His blood type was AK-47.
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"