Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.
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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
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Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.
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Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
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If I had a dollar every time I made a racist joke a nigger would rob me.
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What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather.
Kinky is using the whole chicken.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
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Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.
Except Chuck Norris.
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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the 10 key.