Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
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Why are so many blondes rushing out to get breast implants?
So they don't have to pay the flat tax.
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
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A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk.
The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!"
The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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Pavlov walks into a bar.
The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
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What did the cannibal say when he was full?
I couldn't eat another mortal.
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