You mama's so skinny... she can hang glide with a dorito!
When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
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Why did the horses kept saying orange juice?
Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!
When do cannibals cook you?
On Fried-days.
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps?
A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
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A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion.
The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”.
The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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An old woman goes to the doctor's office.
The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests."
The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."
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Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
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