The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once spent a month in El Paso one night.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.