The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
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Chuck Norris fell off a building, he got sued for breaking the sidewalk with his fists.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks.
They fold under pressure.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
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Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.
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Hiroshima nagasaki was nothing but the result of chuck norris skydiving in Japan.
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