2 cannibals having dinner. 1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew." 2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares.
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.
How do rabbits get to work? By rabbit transit.
Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.