You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
Yo Momma is so big the sun rotates around her.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus.
They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
How does herpes leave the hospital? On crotches.
While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did. I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said; "See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them." I replied, "Yes." "Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."
What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat? A harebrush.
How is parsley like pubic hair? You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
What is height of Fashion? Dhoti with a zip.
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."