When do cannibals cook you?
On Fried-days.
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps?
A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
Q:Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven?
A:Because seven ate nine.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse.
No mortal man has ever earned it.
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The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
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When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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A German woman is walking down the street.
Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her.
She screams, "Nein!, Nein"
So two guys walk away.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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