Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, life
Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is? A:Because they dribble all over the court.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: sport
A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty.”
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: money, old people, time
Chuck Norris doesn't try to find clowns they try to find him.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind. The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was. The snake agreed and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!" The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer, mean, sport, time
Yo mama so ugly Lady Liberty blew her torch out so she wouldn't have to see her.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Client to designer: "It doesn't really look purple. It looks more like a mixture of red and blue."
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: customer service, stupid
Is your name winter? Because you'll be coming soon.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about:
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life
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