Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
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Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
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Someone just knocked on the door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans.
I said "Fuck that, with my luck I'd probably win one."
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A man and his wife shower together.
The husband puts his hand on her breast and says, "These are nice, but if they were a bit firmer you could walk around without a bra for me."
Then the husband pats her butt and says, "This is nice, but if it was a bit firmer, you could walk around without panties for me."
The wife turns around to her husband, grabs his groin and says, "This is nice, but if it was a little bigger, I wouldn't need your brother."
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?"
A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp."
The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
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Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
Where's the safest place to be when a bunch of white guys are playing basketball?
Under the Hoop
Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar?
They are both stuck up cunts.
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