There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse. No mortal man has ever earned it.
Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.