There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse.
No mortal man has ever earned it.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat.
The weights do.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.
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Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
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When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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