There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse.
No mortal man has ever earned it.
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Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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Chuck can use "save" in real life.
But he doesn't need it.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet.
That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
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Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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