There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse.
No mortal man has ever earned it.
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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Nietzsche's book was originally called Also Sparch Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.
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Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating.
He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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