There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse. No mortal man has ever earned it.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris made this sentence finish.
Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.