Best jokes ever

After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: “Honey, we’ve finally saved enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979.” “You mean a brand-new Cadillac?” she asked eagerly. “No,” said the husband, “a 1979 Cadillac.
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More jokes about: car, husband, old people, wife
Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
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More jokes about: animal
How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.
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More jokes about: disgusting, masturbation
What do u call a bunch of black buried up to their heads in dirt? Afro turf.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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More jokes about: bible, catholic, Chuck Norris
Shhhhh... Did you hear that? Chuck did.
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According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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More jokes about: beauty, men, women
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am."
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More jokes about: food, school, teacher
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."
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More jokes about: Yo mama