Why are all jokes about women one-liners?
So men can understand them.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so fat, NASA used her to plug a black hole.
Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
Vote:
Some strangers sit at the bar.
One guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG."
Another guy asks, "What's that?"
The first guy says, "I am a Single, New Age Guy."
Another guy says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK."
A lady asks, "What's that?"
He says, "Double Income, No Kids."
The lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE."
Larry asks, "A WIFE?"
Gertrude says, "Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc."
My best friend ran away with my wife.
It's only been three days and I really miss him.
Leeroy is talking to his parents about his problems:
"Mummy, whenever I try to play with the white boys and girls, they always call me a nigger - why is that?
"Well," replies his mum, "that's because you are black."
"And mummy, why do the teachers shout at me and tell me to go away, but they are nice to the white boys and girls?"
"Well," replies his mum, "that's because you are black."
Then Leroy grins and says "Well, whenever I'm in the shower with the white boys I notice that my penis is much bigger than their penises."
"Well," replies his mum, "that's because you are 37."
Vote:
"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine.
He will be my squishy."
"Let go of my boob."
Q: Why does California have so many destructive earthquakes and Alabama has black people?
A: California got first pick.
Vote:
Men are like......Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are