What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs.
Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget? A: Wow! Your hair smells good!
What does a squid sheriff form? An octoposse.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked. “How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager. “$200″ – he replied. “That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” – the blonde. The store manager said he couldn’t, and got irratated when the blonde persisted. Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, “There’s a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don’t you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!” – he yelled. “Fine. I will.” – the blonde replied. After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her. When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones. Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed “Oh my gosh! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”
How many French men does it take to defend the city of Paris? Don't know...its never been done.
What do you call a dumb bunny? A hare brain.
Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.