How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew.
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear. The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
Yo mama so fat and stupid, she went to a grocery store and tried to gamble at Butterball.