Yo' Mama's teeth are so crooked, when she smiles, it looks like her mouth is throwing gang signs.
Yo' Mama is so fat, the donut shop accused her of stealing their jelly rolls.
McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"
What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
You mama's so skinny... she can hang glide with a dorito!
Yo momma’s so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the Ws.
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.