Yo' Mama is so skanky, she was asked to leave the OTB.
A young woman walks into a bank to withdraw some money.
‘Can you identify yourself?’ asked the bank clerk.
The young woman opens her handbag, takes out a mirror, looks into it and says, ‘Yes, it’s me all right.’
One night, a lady with a black eye stumbled into the police station.
She told the desk sergeant that she had heard a noise in her back yard and gone to investigate.
The next thing she knew, she was hit in the face and knocked out cold.
An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned a few minutes later, also with a black eye.
‘Did you get hit by the same attacker?’ his captain asked.
‘No, sir,’ he replied. ‘I stepped on the same rake.’
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
Q: What’s the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?
A: No fee–If No Recovery!
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps?
A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case.
How does herpes leave the hospital?
On crotches.
Vote:
While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did.
I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said;
"See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them."
I replied, "Yes."
"Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."
Vote: