Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
Question: What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Answer: Pregnant.
For Chuck Norris... In the game Monopoly every space is free parking.
Why do Mexicans cross the border in pairs? Because it says "No Tres-Passing"
A wife sending a short message to her husband: It was just said on the news that they found a hideous corpse with a hollow head, a cigar among ugly rotten teeth and a bottle of liquor in his hand. I'm worried about you!. Please, give me a ring...
A girl was pampering a horse with her hand while watching display of the horses, suddenly she touched the genital of the horse. The excited horse screeched, jumped and ran away very fast. The horse’s guard faced the girl and said, “Ma’am please do the same to me, so I can run, chase and retrieve my boss’s horse.”
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs. ''Isn't it wonderful?'' Brad exclaims. ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.'' ''He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''
Q: What is white at the top and black at the bottom? A: Society!
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle? A polo bear.