You mama's so skinny... she can hang glide with a dorito!
When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
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Why did the horses kept saying orange juice?
Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!
When do cannibals cook you?
On Fried-days.
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps?
A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
Why are niggers like sperm?
Only 1 in a Million actually works .
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Q:Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven?
A:Because seven ate nine.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse.
No mortal man has ever earned it.
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