Client to designer: "It doesn't really look purple. It looks more like a mixture of red and blue."
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
Yo momma is so ugly that Superman lost his supervision and went blind.
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right? Well he's currently making his third attempt.
Q: What do you get when you take a Kitty Kat to the tailor? A: Bad Blood.
Your moms like a christmass tree all the guys put there balls on her.
The black guy I was walking behind stopped, turned and asked "Are you following me?" "No", I said "You've got evolution all mixed up."
Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. "Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!"
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.