Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did. I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said; "See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them." I replied, "Yes." "Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."
How is parsley like pubic hair? You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
Q: What can popsicles do that men can't? A: Come in five flavors.
What's a rabbits favorite movie? Rabbits of the Lost Ark.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
Yo mama is so ugly the mirror did not make an reflection.