The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers. The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes." The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
What is the geographical definition of s*x? Ans: It is an action done by the polland in the holland between the thailand with the little help of greece.
Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was "The president must go." Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it. So his two body guards run out to find out who it was. Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, "We have some bad news, and we have worse news." "What is the bad news?" asked Bill. "Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore." "Whats the worst news?" asked Bill. "The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"
Q: Why did the Avon lady walk funny? A: Her lipstick.
Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac? A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I? Ugly!
Q: What's long and hard and full of semen? A: A submarine.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.