Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
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A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old.
One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband.
It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me."
He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul.
Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
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Q: Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?
A: No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.
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There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
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The woman comes with her husband to the psychiatrist and tells the psychiatrist:
"Please, do something with my man, because he thinks of himself that he is a horse."
The psychiatrist says: "Oh, it will be a long and expensive therapy."
The woman: "Ok, don´t worry, we can enough money because my husband has already won three times the horse racings."
Yo Momma so ugly she makes blind children cry.
When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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