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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
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Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
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Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
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A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examins him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?" The Doctor says, "You’re not drinking enough water."
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First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way? Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
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Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
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Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
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Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
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Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
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