Best jokes ever

A length of rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says "get out, we don't serve ropes in here!" The rope goes outside and cuts himself in half and ties his two sections together. Not pleased with his appearance, he takes a comb and combs out his ends. He walks back into the bar and the bartender says "hey, aren't you that rope I just kicked out?" And the rope replied "no, I'm a frayed knot."
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Yo mama so old her social security number is 3!
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: age, insulting, Yo mama
How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Yo mama so fat when she went to bruger king the bruger was running as fast as they can.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: sport
After some time I saw my doctor and he prescribed me a receipt, but he had prescribed me this receipt in the name of his mother Mrs. Ingrid, by mistake. I didn´t notice it, took this receipt, went to the drug-store, gave the receipt to the pharmacist together with the insurance card with the name John on it. The pharmacist took a look at me and has told me: "Dear, Mrs. Ingrid the name on the receipt doesn´t correspond with the name on the insurance card."
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug
<<<852853854855
More jokes →
Page 852 of 1391.