A length of rope walks into a bar.
The bartender looks at him and says "get out, we don't serve ropes in here!"
The rope goes outside and cuts himself in half and ties his two sections together.
Not pleased with his appearance, he takes a comb and combs out his ends.
He walks back into the bar and the bartender says "hey, aren't you that rope I just kicked out?"
And the rope replied "no, I'm a frayed knot."
Yo mama so old her social security number is 3!
How are skunks able to avoid danger?
By using their instinks and common scents.
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen.
Twice.
Vote:
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Yo mama so fat when she went to bruger king the bruger was running as fast as they can.
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
After some time I saw my doctor and he prescribed me a receipt, but he had prescribed me this receipt in the name of his mother Mrs. Ingrid, by mistake.
I didn´t notice it, took this receipt, went to the drug-store, gave the receipt to the pharmacist together with the insurance card with the name John on it.
The pharmacist took a look at me and has told me: "Dear, Mrs. Ingrid the name on the receipt doesn´t correspond with the name on the insurance card."