Best jokes ever

A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him. "Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?" Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend." He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp. "But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!" The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore! He is!"
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More jokes about: alcohol
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.
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More jokes about: animal, food
Chuck Norris knows the secret of the Caramilk
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Q: What do you call a fat black man laying down? A: KitKat Chunky.
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More jokes about: black people, racist
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world.
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More jokes about: animal
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
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More jokes about: animal, fish, food
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?" The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?" The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
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What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
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More jokes about: animal, time
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
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More jokes about: animal, fish