Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
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Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Silence is golden.
Unless you have an infant.
Then its probably blue.
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I would tell you a joke about my penis but it's too long.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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A helium molecule walks in afterwards. The bellhop asks if he needs any help.
Helium doesn't react.
Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.