What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger? Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
Silence is golden. Unless you have an infant. Then its probably blue.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.
Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.
How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 niggers? In trouble. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 niggers? Coach. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 1000 niggers? Prison Warden.
My best friend ran away with my wife. It's only been three days and I really miss him.