If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you. On facebook!
How would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in the front and two in the back. And how do you get four polar bears in a car? Take the reindeer out first.
What is the definition of "moon"? The past tense of "moo"!
"Hi! My name is Gertrude," said the lady next to him on the plane. "It’s so nice to meet you! I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third birthday. I’m so excited! I remember when he was just a little thumbkin and now he’s already three! It’s really hard to believe. He’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen! You know what? Hold on, I think I might have a picture on me. Let me take a look in my purse, yes, here it is, just look at him, isn’t he adorable. Do you see his dimple on his left cheek? Simply adorable! I could stare at his picture all day. Oh my, and you should hear him on the phone! He is just the cutest, he says to me in the cutest voice 'Hi Grandma!' It just gets me all teary eyed." After what seemed like two hours for the poor man sitting next to her, Gertrude seemed to realize that perhaps she was talking a bit too much. "You know, I feel terrible! Here I am just talking and talking without letting you get in a word edgewise! Tell me.. what do you think about my Grandson!"
There was a fire at the local tax office but the fire brigade managed to put it out before any serious good was done.
Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
Every fact added to this site makes Chuck Norris more powerful.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.