Best jokes ever

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs. ''Isn't it wonderful?'' Brad exclaims. ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.'' ''He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''
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has 51.88 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: gay
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
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has 51.87 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, military, war
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dentist, doctor, husband, women
There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is... Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?  A: She liked kids...
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, doctor, kids
Chuck Norris can say never.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
For every victim of a Chuck Norris round house kick, there is a star. As you can see, there are a lot.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo mama so fat if she falls it's defcon zero.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Pull on a coworker is to press ctrl+print screen on their workstation, then paste it into Paint, save the pic, and set it as the desktop background. Move all of their icons to the trash. When they get back to their desk, clicking won't accomplish anything!
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: April fools, computer, office
Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage
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