Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde? A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps? A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
A patient to his friend: "I am taking rest cure." Friend: "What do you do?" Patient: "I sit every day for three hours in the waiting room of a very busy doctor."
Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way? Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
Two gays were at a dance. As they were jigging about the floor with each other. Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?" "No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."