They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...