Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!
Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 niggers? In trouble. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 niggers? Coach. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 1000 niggers? Prison Warden.
Q: What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa? A: A good start.
Yo mamas teeth are so yellow she helped Dorothy get to the emerald city.
Q: Why did this woman cross the road? A: Because I was not fast enough to hit her.
Q: Who invented viagra? A: Mr Hardick of course!
Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.