Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
Chuck Norris will be the star lead in the remake of the movie "300" it will now be called "1"
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Shooting stars make a wish when they see Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.