Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
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The president of the USA lives in the White House.
Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
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Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
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When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
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Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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