Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
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Q: Why couldn't the witch have children?
A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present.
Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar.
But one kid got only a pair of socks.
A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid:
LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively.
"So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.
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Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
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Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
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