What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?
You come in one and you go in the other!
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car door.
Yo Momma's a bowling ball.
She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter.
Then she comes rolling back for more.
If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas.
He just hired Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
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Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
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Q: Why couldn't the witch have children?
A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present.
Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar.
But one kid got only a pair of socks.
A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid:
LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively.
"So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.
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