Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, “Can I buy that TV” “No” “Why not?” “Because your a blonde.” So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red. She returned to the electronic store and said, “Can I buy that TV?” “No” “Why not?” “Your a blonde.” So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, “Can I buy that TV?” “No” “Why not?” “You’re a blonde” “How can you tell I’m a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then shaved it off!” “Because that’s not a TV, that’s a microwave!”
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde, customer service, technology
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Once upon a time there were these two bums walking down the railroad tracks, and the first bum, Fred, thought he smelled a nasty old smell. He asked his companion, Jeff, ''Did you s**t your pants?'' "Hell no," Jeff said. They walked a few more miles and the smell got worse. "Did you s**t your pants, Jeff?" "I swear to the God almighty I did not s**t my pants," Jeff said. So they walk three more miles and the smell gets just horrible. Fred runs over and pulls down Jeff's pants and says, "I thought you said you didn't s**t your pants?!" "I didn't." Jeff said. "They're your pants."
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
There was a couple wanted to go out for dinner for their anniversary but they didn’t make it with the babysitter so they had nowhere to leave their little boy! After a lot of talk father came up with an idea! "We will put a vinyl at the pickup deck, something with kid-stories so our little boy will sleep at once and everything will be fine!" "Ok," said the wife. So,that is what they did and went out sure for their plan. After about 2 hours, they arrived back home and listen noise and the boy screaming: "I waaaant,i waaaant,i waaaaant…" They run up to boy’s room and saw the little boy hitting the wall and screaming the same words: "I waaaant!" They wonder about what happened and then they listened to the pickup: "Do you want to listen my story? Do you want to listen my story? Do you want to listen my story?"
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, couple, kids, wife
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
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has 50.82 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish
Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.
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has 50.81 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, food
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