A kid asks his father: Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed? Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
Q: What is red and black? A: A sunburnt zebra.
Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? A: It's called Sosumi.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.