Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
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Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car door.
If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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Yo Momma's a bowling ball.
She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter.
Then she comes rolling back for more.
A man walks into a bar and says "Ow!"
A second man walks into the same bar.
You would think after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it coming.
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.
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Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
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