Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
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Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
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Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
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Chuck Norris had never escape from jail.
Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
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The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas.
He just hired Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
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Q: Why couldn't the witch have children?
A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
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If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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Yo Momma's a bowling ball.
She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter.
Then she comes rolling back for more.