Why are we so sure that Eve was African?
If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple!
She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?"
If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!
Q: How do you recycle a condom?
A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
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An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application.
Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough.
He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof.
He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened.
She replies, “Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!”
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Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Q: Why are men like diapers?
A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
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Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth?
A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
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