No time for gym? Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.
‘A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.’ Bob Hope
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport? A: Baaasket baaall!
How does herpes leave the hospital? On crotches.
UV rays are caused by Chuck Norris' smiles.
Q: What is height of Stupidity? A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!
How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's? The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.