Best jokes ever

One day a mom was cleaning junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
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More jokes about: kids
Yo mama so fat she puts insurance on her food.
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More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
Yo mama is so stupid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"
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More jokes about: communication, school, stupid, teacher, Yo mama
Phone talk: "Is your boss there?" "No, he left on a trip." "A recovery trip, huh?" "I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
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More jokes about: marriage, phone, wife
A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time. The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child." The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes." He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. He admits, "I had kneesles, too." Finally, he pulls off his boxers. In shock, the woman gasps, "Oh no...smallcox, too!"
Vote: has 52.33 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, holiday, husband, marriage
A man returns home and find his wife with his best friend. He takes out the gun and shoots his friend to death. His wife: "Listen, if you stay in such character, you will lose all your friends."
Vote: has 52.31 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, friendship, marriage, wife
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
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More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
Two sperm are in the body looking for the egg when one of them starts to wonder why it is taking so long. He asks the other sperm, "aren't we near the uterus yet?" "No," replied the other sperm, "we haven't even gotten to the esophagus."
Vote: has 52.26 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q. How can you tell a head nurse? A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
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More jokes about: sex
Three guys all think that their wives are cheating on them. The first guy thinks his wife is screwing a plumber because he found a tool belt under his bed. The second guy thinks his wife is screwing a judge because he found a robe and gavel under his bed. The third guy says, "That's nothing! I came home and found a cowboy under my bed. I can't believe my wife is screwing a horse."
Vote: has 52.26 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage