Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay. Big mistake. You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.