Q: Why do we paint Easter eggs? A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
Q: What does a dentist do on a roller coaster? A: He braces himself.
Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.