Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
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Waiter, what is this stuff?
That's bean salad sir.
I know what it's been, but what is it now?
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
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Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class.
The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it.
So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began.
"ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ."
"Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P?
"It's running down my leg."
Wherever you go, Chuck Norris will already be there.
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Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast?
A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.