They say sex is a killer...
Do you want to die happy?
Vote:
We must admit that we want to be like some animals.
We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.
Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.
Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A: Hissssstory.
If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Q: What do u call an Asian grocery store?
A: A pound
Chuck Norris actually completed Tetris.
Vote:
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name?
A: Papa Boner