Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast? A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
What do you call a show full of lions? The mane event.