Your mamma is so fat when she goes swimming in the ocean she gets harpooned.
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake?
A: Must be an earthquake.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
‘Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.’
Spike Milligan
Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.