Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers?
A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can swim and skydive at the same time.
Vote:
Yo mama so stupid someone said Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.
A Gujarati Funeral…
A family in Gujarat got simply puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Puj. Ba) arrived from the US.
It was sent by one of the Daughters.
The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to all her brothers and sisters:
Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben & Varsha,
I am sending Puj. Ba’s dead body to you, since it was her last wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Kadhywad, GUJARAT, India.
Sorry, I could not come, all of my paid leaves got consumed.
You will find inside the coffin, under Ba’s body, 5 cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates, 8 packets of Badam and few items for Kids.
Please divide these among all of you.
Near Ba’s feet, you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan.
There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha’s and Lakshmi’s sons.
Hope the sizes are correct!
Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts.
The large size is for Mohan and rest you can decide.
The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys.
The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba’s left wrist.
Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for.
Please take it.
The few pairs of white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among all the Nephews.
Please distribute all these above items fairly & equally.
Yours loving sister, Anubhavi
P.S.: If anything more needed, let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days…
Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
Vote:
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake.
Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
Vote:
Why do pill bottles have cotton buds in the top of them?
To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
Vote: