Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, funeral
Q: What is difference between man and Superman? A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Your momma so fat... All the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Your Momma"
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, football
Two guys are out hunting deer... The first guy says, "Did you see that?...pointing to the sky." "No," the second guy says. "Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead!" the first guy says. "Oh," says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, pointing to a far ridge, the first guy says, "Did you see that?" "See what?" the second guy asks. "Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there!" "Yah, Ok", says the second guy again with a bit of irritation in his voice. A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?" This time pointing behind them. By now, the second guy is getting very aggravated and says, "Yah, I SAW IT!" And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”. The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him. "Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?" Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend." He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp. "But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!" The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore! He is!"
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death