Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual?
No, only medium rare.
My wife asked if I would give it to her "doggy style."
So I took a dump on the floor and chewed up her shoes.
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.
Postcard from a blonde:
Having a wonderful time.
Where am I?
Yo mama so fat that she is called America.
Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common?
A: They both wiggle when you eat them!