If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast? A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
Q: Why are men like diapers? A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"
Q: How do you recycle a condom? A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
No sense in playing Clue with Chuck Norris, we know it was Chuck Norris with a roundhouse kick in any room.