If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
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Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast?
A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Q: Why are men like diapers?
A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
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Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station?
Because it's a mane-lion station.
Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?
He always said "Neigh"
Q: How do you recycle a condom?
A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
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No sense in playing Clue with Chuck Norris, we know it was Chuck Norris with a roundhouse kick in any room.
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