Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
Something Special For His Birthday It was Jim's birthday, and he was considered to be an "old man" by his friends standards. So, to liven him up a bit, Jim's friends decided to give him something special for his birthday. They bought him a hooker. The call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked on the door. When Jim answered, she said "Hi I'm your birthday present!" Startled, he asked "What am I supposed to do with you?" "I'm yours for super sex," she answers. So Jim replied "Well, I'm 75 years old so I'll have the soup."
A lawyer is paid £950 in new bills but, on counting the money, he discovers that two notes have stuck together and he’s been overpaid by £50. This leaves him with an ethical dilemma – should he tell his partner?
Yo' Mama is so fat, when the cops see her on a street corner, they yell, "Hey you guys, break it up!"
Yo mamma so fat the back of her neck looks like a 12 pack of hot dogs.
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early sir", replied the defendant. "Well that's not an crime", said the judge! "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened", answered the prisoner.
”Hey grandma, did you see my pills? They write LSD on the box outside!” ”Screw the pills, didn’t you see the dragons in the kitchen?”
Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. These kids are now known as the power rangers.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she visits the doctor, they need a forklift to get her on the examining table.