Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor.
The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
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There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.
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A husband and wife are eating soup.
The wife spills soup all over her and says:
"Oh no, I look like a pig"
"Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
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Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?
A: Relative humidity.
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Karma believes in Chuck Norris.
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The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave.
"No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating.
They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
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