Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!
When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
A blond gave birth to two twins and continously crying. A nurse asks her what's the problem. She replies,"I don't know with whom I have the second baby..."
Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Q: What's blue and doesn't fit? A: A dead epileptic.