Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!
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Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon?
A: Because there is no shopping centre.
Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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What's green and sits in the corner?
That same baby three weeks later.
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A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy.
Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on.
Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?"
The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?"
"Yeah, for sure..."
"And then... What are you waiting for...?"
When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...
You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.