An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years.
A competent attorney can delay one even longer.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Vote:
‘I spilled spot remover on my dog.
Now he’s gone.’
Steven Wright
Yo momma’s so stupid, she died before the police arrived because she couldn’t find the ‘11’ button in ‘9-1-1’.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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A blond gave birth to two twins and continously crying.
A nurse asks her what's the problem.
She replies,"I don't know with whom I have the second baby..."
Q: What did the blonde say when she was offered a position at the UN?
A: Would that be a "missionary position?"
A neutron walks into the hotel bar and asks "how much for a beer?"
The bartender says, "for you? no charge."
Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class.
The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it.
So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began.
"ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ."
"Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P?
"It's running down my leg."