Yo mama so poor when I ring her buzzer she says, "bzzzzzzzzz."
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she was born, her mama called her a treasure, so her daddy offered to bury her.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.
Yo mama has been passed around by so many black dudes, they now call her..Spalding!
Yo mama is so fat a bus hit her and she said a mosquito.
The judge asks the murderer: Why did you kill that old lady? For money.. But you got only 20 cents Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
Q: What do you call 50 blacks at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start.
A schoolteacher was arrested today at Gatwick Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Home Secretary said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
Signs You're No Longer in College... You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close. Your potted plants stay alive. You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill. Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces. You attend parties that the police don't raid. You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking. You refer to college students as "those kids." You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza. At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out. Naps are no longer weekday options. Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy. Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips. You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.