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Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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More jokes about: women
Husband: Everytime I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet seat... Husband: How does it help Wife: I use your toothbrush!
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More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released tonight."
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More jokes about: husband, marriage, prison, wife
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military, war
Yo Momma's a brick, she is flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans.
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I got married to Miss Right. I just didn’t realise her first name was ‘Always’.
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Q. How can you tell a head nurse? A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
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More jokes about: sex
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art.
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More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
A fireman comes home from work one day and tells his wife, "We have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings, we put on our jackets; Bell 2 rings, we slide down the pole; Bell 3 rings, we're on the trucks. From now on, we're going to run this house the same way. When I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say Bell 2, I want you to jump into bed. When I say Bell 3, we're going to make passionate love." The next night, the fireman comes home from work and yells, "Bell 1!" His wife takes off her clothes. "Bell 2," and his wife jumps into bed. "Bell 3," and they began to make love. After two minutes, his wife yells, "Bell 4!" "What's Bell 4?" the husband asks. "More hose," she replies, "you're nowhere near the fire!"
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More jokes about: love, marriage, wife, work
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
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More jokes about: math, school, student, stupid, teacher