When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy.
Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on.
Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?"
The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?"
"Yeah, for sure..."
"And then... What are you waiting for...?"
"And so, God came forth and proclaimed widescreen is the best"
Sony 16:9
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If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon.
If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.
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Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!
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Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon?
A: Because there is no shopping centre.
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...
You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.