Best jokes ever

A man walks into a pharmacy and tells the salesgirl that he's looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him to the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?" "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, so does she."
has 55.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
Dave's wife thinks that he is pushing himself too hard, so she takes him to a local strip club for his birthday. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How are ya?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." They sit and a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know what you drink." "No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them." A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi, Davey," she says, "Want your usual lap dance?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. His wife starts screaming at him. The cabbie turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real doozy this time, Dave!"
has 55.39 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: birthday, marriage, time, wife
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
has 55.38 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, dog
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
Q: What do you call a blonde at a golf course? A: The 19th hole.
has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, golf
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: math
In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters: I have a good and a bad news for you. The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots. All the sisters start whistling happily. But one of them asks: What are the bad news? Carrots came grated.
has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, political, religious, time
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, food, life
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook
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