Best jokes ever

An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
Vote:
has 50.69 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women
So God is getting a bit bored in heaven, and he asks his archangel Michael, "Michael, I need to get away from it all for a bit. Where should I go to clear my head?" Michael replies, "Well, you could always go to Pluto. You could go create a mountain and ski, have a bit of fun." God says, "No, I don't think so. I don't do so well with the cold, and frostbite was definitely not one of my better creations." The archangels says, "Alright, well you could always try Mercury. It's nice and warm, you could just take a bit of time to relax, get a nice tan." "Michael," God says, "do you see how white I am? I would burn to a crisp." Michael replies, "Alright, well then why don't you go to Earth?" "Fuck that," God says, "last time I went there I got some girl pregnant and I never heard the end of it."
Vote:
has 50.69 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: geography, god, heaven, kids, sex
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
Vote:
has 50.69 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
Two gay men are walking down the street trying to bum a ride. A truck driver picks them up. After a while the first gay man asked in a very gay voice, "Please sir can I fart?" The truck driver then says, "Yeah sure who cares." So the gay guy goes "POOF". Then the second gay man asks if he can fart. The truck driver says he doesn't care and the second gay man went ''poof''. Then the big truck driver goes to the gay men and says, "Ok gentlemen can I fart?" The gay men say right on and the truckdriver lets it blow. The fart was huge and smelly and loud. The gay men then say, "He is obviously a virgin."
Vote:
has 50.69 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, gay
What is the difference between a black monopoly board and a white one. The black on you roll any number and you go to jail.
Vote:
has 50.68 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: black people, game, prison, racist, white people
When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
Vote:
has 50.67 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
KFC in Asia? Korean fried cat.
Vote:
has 50.67 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cat, food, mean
Q: What did the Mexican get for Christmas? A: My bike.
Vote:
has 50.67 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist
Why do Mexicans cross the border in pairs? Because it says "No Tres-Passing"
Vote:
has 50.67 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: racist
When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
Vote:
has 50.67 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
<<<895896897898
More jokes →
Page 895 of 1428.