"And so, God came forth and proclaimed widescreen is the best"
Sony 16:9
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If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon.
If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.
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Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!
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Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon?
A: Because there is no shopping centre.
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz.
When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish.
''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains.
''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.)
''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage.
Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard.
Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
My wife came in complaining about me never lifting a finger in the house.
So I did - the middle one.
Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...
Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid?
Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the little packet.
Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
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